Well the grades are out and the verdict is in...
I didn't make the list (Dean's List) this time :(
I know it sounds conceited for me to be this disappointed just because I didn't make it to the dean's list, but I just can't help it. When I first entered college I never pushed myself to be in this list but when I saw my name reach that list, at first I felt proud but didn't make it my standard. But as my name kept being on that list, I ended up making it my standard. And now here I am, disappointed that I didn't reach the list by just a measly 0.007 points. If that was gone, I would've still made the list flat-out.
Well, I could never really get my feelings about this out to my classmates because they would say stuff like "well at least you passed", "so? i almost didn't make it to the class" and "you're worrying about that?". I know, I know, I know, I shouldn't be worrying about it. True, at least I passed the semester without a failure. At least, the grades that I got are good enough for any student. Maybe, the fact that I put myself up to this pedestal, created my downfall as well.
What am I saying? This is not considered a downfall. A downfall is when you failed a subject and you got delayed in your course. This is just a sign telling me to keep my feet on the ground. This doesn't mean that I should stop myself from striving hard to reach the list next semester. This is just on of the minor blocks along the way. People did say that it is not the grades that makes a person a professional at his/her work but it is the determination, perseverance and hardwork that is put into everything that is done.
"Tapos ka na mag -aral, REALLY? kasi ako I was up all night studying also but I wasn't able to finish so I really thought I needed this suspension. PERO HIYANG HIYANG HIYA NAMAN AKO SA INYO na tapos na mag - aral at inis na inis dahil nag - suspend. SORRY sa naka - dorm. SORRY sa mga may super duper taas na mental capability. AT SORRY NAMAN SA GRADES NIYO, if you only knew the stories circulating about you guys. MATAAS GRADE NIYO, PANO NIYO NAKUHA YAN?! YEAH IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. :|"
I just read this from my news feed, this was from a blockmate of mine. I don't know if I should be affected by this statement or not.
Here are the reasons why I should be affected:
1. I finished reviewing for our practicals last night
2. I was one of the people who got disappointed that classes got suspended the next day
3. I stay in the dorm
4. My grades are pretty okay in the particular subject
Here are the reasons why I should not be affected:
1. I know I deserve those grades
2. I think I know the other people he/she may be pertaining to
But here is the main reason why I am confused:
1. Are there other people who think that I'm like that
This is why I don't like showing my grades to anyone or letting other people know my standing in school. I get conscious about it. Sorry, if I come out like that to you guys, but that is how I am. At least, I am willing to help you guys when you're confused about certain terms and definitions. Why can't I just be me?
I guess this is one of the things that makes me go to the sidelines and just watch people. I know it sounds sad but hey, it works. Nobody gets to sass me and stuff.
Am I thinking too much? :/
