It's nothing, right?

After a day filled with mind numbing facts about how our body works to produce the words that we say and learning about things that are important for the future ahead, I am left alone with my thoughts.

That may have been the scariest moment of my life, being alone with these thoughts. 
What thoughts in particular? 
DISAPPOINTED. FALSE HOPES. LOST DREAMS. 

Over the weekend, my eyes was open to the reality, the reality of the relationship between my parents. I thought it was great, that nothing was wrong. Sure, they had their occasional arguments and misunderstandings, what kind of couple of 20 years would be if they didn't right? My mom told me about what has been happening between them, especially now that we, their children, are all in another island studying for our future. I won't go into specifics but when I heard those things, I didn't know how to react but  my tears were flowing nonstop. After that moment, I just slept it off. It wasn't sinking in yet. 

When I went out to dinner with my family and was left with my mom and dad in the room, it felt very awkward for me in the inside but I didn't let it show. Being all smiles and laughs, but deep inside, the words that my mom told me were sinking in deep. I didn't know what to do. Finally, when I had to leave for the dormitory, I got up hugged my dad (which was very hard for me) and went to my mom, who got a taxi for me, and hugged her too. 

Now that it has sunk really deep, I am alone with my thoughts and I have nothing else to do. I start to think of it all. I couldn't believe that my dad was like that. I looked up to him, praised him, idolized him my whole life and now I hear these things from my mom. My mom! How could I not trust what she said, when I knew in my heart that I was a witness to these happenings and I just let them be, because I saw my dad in a different light during those times. I saw him as a daughter, who was in awe with the things that he can do, who was happy that I got to spend a lot of time with him, who was a shadow to him. But now, I see him as a person who has been aware of the events that have been happening, who realizes the moments where he too showed a side unlike a father, who now doesn't want to be his shadow.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL. 

I'm not even sure of myself with the whole story that I know. All I know right now, is that I have to do something. Something that may help the family and myself. I need to step up and be there for my family. I don't want to end up in a broken family (I hope not), but I must be ready for whatever happens. 

I MAY NOT KNOW WHAT TO FEEL IN THIS SITUATION BUT I KNOW I MUST KEEP MYSELF STRONG FOR MYSELF AND MY FAMILY.